More than just a drink

Some of the dating tips. 

Talked to the girlfriends about dating of this kind. (Through the Internet.) Yes, I know; meet in a public place. Coffee, or a drink. Just so you can check the dude out.  Oh yea, and if you need to bail out. Go to the rest room, call some one and tell them to call you in 5 - 10 minutes with an emergency. (I have kids so that will work)

But I want a real date. (I’ve been on enough of the just for a drink. Boy, those were so bad.)

 So we are going to dinner on Saturday.  I’m being brave, and stepping outside of my comfort zone. This is going to be a dinner date though. I want a meal.

 My kids are;”LOL, this is going to be funny!”

Time up North

This weekend went upto VT, and NH visiting colleges. had a great trip with daughter number two. We did some fun things in VT. Visited a museum. Then tried to find 5 of the covered bridges in the aria, before sunset. This was so much fun. It was kind of like a scavenger hunt. Laughed a lot.

I also got to speak with Mike a few times, with whom I will be meeting up with this coming weekend. I have to say he as a beautiful voice, very deep. He has done a lot of bike road racing. (amateur) but had an accident so he does not race any more. So far we have quite a bit in common, besides being divorced each with two kids, same age, and more.

To find a relationship

I was reading a blog relating to knowing that weather or not you are in a good or bad relationship.

I have to say, before, during and after my divorce I never though I would date another man. My kids where like “you are a man hater”. Which surprised me. I guess it was my manner. I just was always saying stuff like:, “Ya men are jerks. I don’t want someone else telling what to do any more.”

So, after I had been single for over five years, and many questions of “when are you going to start dating?” I decided, hay it might be nice to meet some new people. Maybe some one to go mountain biking with. But I don’t think that I will find any one even half way decent, and fun.

A friend sets me up on a couple of dates. Oh, where those bad. These guys had no sence of hummor. So, my girlfriend says, “you have to find someone who has a common interest.” I dont know any guys that hike, or mountian bike, and neither does anyone else.

We, (my girlfriend and me) decide to go to Lance Armstrongs, matching sight. I fill out the form, and just kind of forget about it. I go and check on it in a week, and this guy has gotten back to me twice. The second saying, “so are you interested or not”. Haha, I didn’t know you were supposed to look at the sight everyday, and chat it up. So I send an email back to him. Ya, sure give me a call. HaHa. and that evening he calls. I’m quite surprised, I figured he would probable email first. Then hes like, want to get together this weekend, I’m, like, no. What does he think I have no life. I’m going college hunting with my daughter. Oh, ok, how about next weekend. Ok.

Job status quo, and

I was able to make a lateral move in my company. So for now my job is secure. HaHa. When I went to interview for this position last week. I asked the new boss. So, really am I still going to have a job in six months? (Figure what have I got to lose they just keep moving many of us from different departments) He was able to assure me that yes it was in the budget to keep this position. But I remain cautious.

I did go out on an interview though, and although I was nervous about it, and the company has not called me back yet. It did make me take stock of the work place, and my career. They asked a lot of good questions. I like the standard, “So tell me about yourself”.

So I run down the list of my professional stuff.

But I like the question, because it made me think on a bigger stage. What part do you really want to know about? my spiritual side, my weirdo side, my sports interest, my physical fitness philosophy. What a loaded question. But one to be contemplated.

A turning point

 Jumping around a little bit here.

The night the man of the house, or so he called himself. Tried to strangle me. This was over 6 years ago. What a mess that relationship had become by that time.

It was late October,  when he came home very early in the AM. 

So, much had happened up to this point.

I had found out in Aug 1999, that he had a girl friend. We had gone to consoling, because I was trying not to have my family break apart. But as we worked on the relationship it became more and more clear that I did not love him and had not really loved him for some time. Years.

I was just playing a part. Faking the loving devoted wife. And it was eating me up inside, and destroying any part of who I was. 

What had I become… a shell, I wanted him out of my life. We fought. He would not leave. He wanted me to leave the house and take the kids with me. I had no where to go to. He was like a caged animal, waiting to strike. I knew he was getting on the edge. His temper was relentless. He kept trying to convince me that I had no choice. He would not give me a divorce.

So, I shut down all communication with him. That thew him over the edge. He came home, order me out of bed. Screaming for me to talk to him. Pulled me out of bed. Me half asleep saying, “I’m not going to do this, I have to work tomorrow, the kids have school, be quite, your going to wake everyone up”.

“Oh no way, you are going to get up!” So it begins. Rage, anger from him.

I’m  in my head, is this for real? What is he doing, I just want to go to bed.

We take the conversation, screaming into the kitchen. I get pinned up to the walk, “Let go” I say, “no”. I still am in my head this can not be real, what is he doing. Then a dark, dark glint in his eye, and I realize I am in danger, my children are in danger. He raises his had and grabs my throat. As his other hand rises I (received from a power above) swing out my arm and push him away. As I run around the corner of my dining room, two police officers are coming into my house. Its like slow motion to me. I’m like, oh I’m so glad your here, this guy is trying to kill me.

The turning point. To face someone tring to take your life. Who do you think you are? You have not right to do that!   Now you start to live.