Jumping around a little bit here.
The night the man of the house, or so he called himself. Tried to strangle me. This was over 6 years ago. What a mess that relationship had become by that time.
It was late October, when he came home very early in the AM.
So, much had happened up to this point.
I had found out in Aug 1999, that he had a girl friend. We had gone to consoling, because I was trying not to have my family break apart. But as we worked on the relationship it became more and more clear that I did not love him and had not really loved him for some time. Years.
I was just playing a part. Faking the loving devoted wife. And it was eating me up inside, and destroying any part of who I was.
What had I become… a shell, I wanted him out of my life. We fought. He would not leave. He wanted me to leave the house and take the kids with me. I had no where to go to. He was like a caged animal, waiting to strike. I knew he was getting on the edge. His temper was relentless. He kept trying to convince me that I had no choice. He would not give me a divorce.
So, I shut down all communication with him. That thew him over the edge. He came home, order me out of bed. Screaming for me to talk to him. Pulled me out of bed. Me half asleep saying, “I’m not going to do this, I have to work tomorrow, the kids have school, be quite, your going to wake everyone up”.
“Oh no way, you are going to get up!” So it begins. Rage, anger from him.
I’m in my head, is this for real? What is he doing, I just want to go to bed.
We take the conversation, screaming into the kitchen. I get pinned up to the walk, “Let go” I say, “no”. I still am in my head this can not be real, what is he doing. Then a dark, dark glint in his eye, and I realize I am in danger, my children are in danger. He raises his had and grabs my throat. As his other hand rises I (received from a power above) swing out my arm and push him away. As I run around the corner of my dining room, two police officers are coming into my house. Its like slow motion to me. I’m like, oh I’m so glad your here, this guy is trying to kill me.
The turning point. To face someone tring to take your life. Who do you think you are? You have not right to do that! Now you start to live.
February 14, 2007 at 7:44 pm
What a powerful story, seandbe! My first marriage was something like that, though, I can remember only one time it got physical like that, and it was the result of an argument and I hit him first. But, I know that dark glint well. My ex did not physically abuse me, but he knew how to sling it verbally and emotionally. It took me a while to realize that it was still abuse.
February 14, 2007 at 8:37 pm
((((SeAndBe)))) I’m sort of speechless….thank GOD for that intervention and that you had the courage to stand strong and escape that marriage. THANK YOU for sharing such a personal story – one that so many of us can relate to.
February 15, 2007 at 4:00 am
I wish you could see my face. My jaws are still down on the ground. Wow. I’m glad you escape that one. Thanks for sharing. No person should ever be put into that kind of situation. No ones deserves that.
February 20, 2007 at 8:15 pm
SeAndBe, I wonder if a part of you you didn’t know about was born that night. It must have been pretty damn empowering to stand up and know that no one has the right to take your life, that you hold dominion over that part of yourself. But I’m only taking it from what you’ve written…what would you say?